So you made it through the infamous “Terrible Twos” and the tumultuous “Threenager Years” with only a hair’s breadth of survival; surely the storm is over now, right? Watch as your four-year-old tries to show you how wrong you are!
After the terrible twos and threenager years, comes the “terrible fours”!: Hold on tight to your seats, hats, pearls, and Tiger balm, because it appears that the more experienced parents out there have conveniently forgotten (or have intentionally avoided) giving us poor saps the heads up about this frightening stage of our child’s development known as the Effing Fours!
You might believe that now that your child is old enough to attend preschool, the days of temper tantrums and meltdowns are behind you, but you’d be wrong. Once your child reaches the age of four, she will also be referred to as the following:
- The Eff You Four
- Fournado
- Ferocious Four
- Fournager
Based on the developmental milestones she has reached at this point, what other names can you give to your spirited little girl who is now four years old?
Here is a heartbreakingly honest list that I think the majority of parents of children in this “blessed” age group will be able to relate to!
1. The Incredible Sulk
Even though your four-year-old child is no longer throwing temper tantrums or having massive meltdowns, you will notice that she can be overly sensitive and easily start to sulk at the drop of a hat. This is something that you should be prepared for. Just because you told her that she needs to finish eating her dinner before she can have dessert, she is acting like a petulant little duck, crossing her arms firmly, talking back, or even quietly sobbing to herself as if her entire world is collapsing because of your instruction.
Your preschooler may have a more extensive vocabulary now, but according to Nathalie Brown, a Child Behaviour Consultant at Easy Peasy Kids, she is still unable to adequately express her feelings despite having gained some language skills.
However, you should pay attention to how your child is feeling and guide her through the process, just as you did when she was a young infant.
“It’s like a switch goes off in their head and they have no control over that switch; it just goes. The switch can be triggered by many things: if they’re slightly over-tired, hungry, over-stimulated, bored or not getting their own way”, says Brown.
2. Liar Liar Pants On Fire
You have instructed your young daughter, who is four years old, not to overfeed the pet goldfish. However, if you catch her shaking half a bottle of the food flakes into the fish tank for the fifth time that day and confront her about it, she may look you straight in the eyes and tell you that the poor goldfish were hungry and she heard them “ask her for more food.”
We are all well aware that Goldie the fish is merely a typical non-verbal pet, and you very much doubt that your child has been endowed with the gift of being able to communicate with other species of living things (although, imagine the possibilities!). — so if she knew you weren’t going to believe her, why did she lie to your face and insist that you should?
Alternatively, you might overhear your child telling a story to someone and notice that they have embellished certain details or even made up events that never took place. Some authorities believe that children of this age are still unable to tell the difference between fact and fiction, and that they frequently confuse reality with wishful thinking or fantasy:
“He’s not lying (at least by childhood standards), he’s thinking wishfully — imagining what he wishes had happened. Not only does wishful thinking allow the child the luxury of living in a dream, it impresses his friends and raises his social status”, they say.
3. Social Butterfly
Even though you and your partner were your child’s very first friends (we know, how adorable is that? ), as she gets older she will begin to play with other children and may even have one or two friends who she gets together with on a regular basis for play dates. This is something that will happen even though you and your partner were her very first friends.
However, once your child reaches the age of four, she will begin to express a desire to be a part of a larger group in any social setting she finds herself in, whether it be at school, on the playground, or at a party. Encourage your child to develop her social skills by interacting with other children and by making new friends. This will help your child become more well-rounded.
You can also teach her how to introduce herself to others, such as by saying, “Hello, my name is _____, can I play too?”
4. The young version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Your four-year-old daughter is happy as a clam one minute while she is painting a picture and singing a song, but then all of a sudden she shrieks and punches her easel, then she dumps all of the paints on the floor before ranting about how she ran out of red paint, and now she is howling at the top of her lungs.
It’s impossible for her to be experiencing PMS at such a young age, right? The extreme mood swings and temperaments beg the question: why do they occur? Your youngster is still developing the ability to communicate her feelings, and while she may be overly dramatic at times, this is an excellent opportunity for you to validate the feelings she is experiencing and teach her how to communicate in a more effective (and less destructive) way.
5. Your child, who is only four years old, is already a stand-up comedian
Because we don’t want to break their hearts or shatter their self-confidence, we just pull a face and play along when our children tell them jokes that aren’t funny. This is something that all parents of young children are able to do.
You might actually really crack up just looking at how adorable your little one is as she’s trying so hard to contain her laughter when delivering the (not so punchy) punchline, and you might forget how the knock-knock joke failed to hit its mark. This might actually make you really crack up. Children of this age enjoy making up ridiculous tales, and because their command of the English language is growing, it amuses adults greatly when these children purposefully mix up words or invent ones that don’t make any sense.
A good sense of humor and the ability to laugh at oneself when things don’t go as planned is unquestionably preferable to having a temper tantrum and lashing out at other people when things don’t go as planned.
6. Your young child of four is a deep thinker
- “Why do hamsters have dreams?”
- “Why can’t Dads grow babies in their stomachs?”
- “What kind of magic do they use to make the pictures on the TV move?”
These are the kinds of inquiries that a typical child of four years old might have, and it’s likely that you’ll be hearing many more of them throughout the day.
In point of fact, one study found that children ask approximately 300 questions on a daily basis, with four-year-old girls being able to ask as many as 380! But this is just her way of understanding the world around her, so that she can hone her mental abilities and also put her vocabulary to use as it continues to grow.
7. Mini Manipulator
If you find that your four-year-old is trying to weasel her way out of trouble by negotiating with you, telling lies, or even winning you over with flattery, she is probably just trying to avoid the consequences or is attempting to gain some power over you. If you find this to be the case, it is important to remember that she is probably just trying to avoid the consequences. You shouldn’t always give in to your child’s demands, despite the fact that it’s natural for people to try their luck occasionally and see what happens.
Stephanie Deslauriers, a Psychoeducator and Youth Author, explains, “If every time the parent makes a request the child ends up arguing and trying to negotiate and the parent starts walking on eggshells or altering the normal functioning of the daily routine to avoid upsetting him, the child will come to understand that he can manage his parents.”
8. Your four year old has a poor attitude when they lose
You may have noticed that your child is starting to show signs of having a competitive streak now that she has more friends to play with and is old enough to understand the basic rules of games like Hide and Seek, Tag, and other similar games.
Suddenly, she is obsessed with the idea of winning, and she refuses to take defeat graciously and accept the runner-up prize. You can be sure that she will cry tears of frustration if another person succeeds where she has set her sights on becoming the best, number one, or leader in her field.
It is better for you to teach your child how to better manage failure and to understand that winning isn’t everything rather than to avoid letting her participate in any competitive activities, even though you may feel the temptation to avoid letting your child participate in any competitive activities.
9. Your four-year-old is a control freak, even though she’s only four!
Because your preschooler’s fine motor skills, gross motor skills, and cognitive skills are all improving, she will become more self-sufficient and will probably insist on doing everything by herself. This is because her fine motor skills, gross motor skills, and cognitive skills have all improved.
Everything turns into a struggle for power, and in the end, it’s usually her way or the highway! Implementing the “When-Then” technique is one way to keep from butting heads with your angst-ridden little tornado:
Instead of saying, “No, you cannot play with your new toy because you haven’t taken a bath yet”, you can say, “When you’ve had your bath, then you can play with your new toy”.
10. Tiny Thug
Are you taken aback by the sudden aggressive behavior that your four-year-old displays when she’s upset about something, such as pushing her friend or even kicking her sibling?
Because children of this age have not yet developed their ability to control their impulses, it is possible that she will react quickly without first giving it much thought. However, you should not be concerned about the possibility that your child will grow up to be a thug. She craves instant gratification, and as a result, in order to resolve a conflict, such as getting her toy back from another child who took it away from her, she may inadvertently rip it out of the other child’s hands while clenching her teeth, staring them down with a murderous glare, and grinning maniacally.
Remind your child in a reassuring manner that her aggressive behavior is not acceptable, and give her some time to calm down before resuming interaction with the other children. This will help prevent the situation from becoming even more heated.
The incredible fours!
Okay, let’s be honest: Does it really sound as terrifying to have an emotional little child of four years old as it does? Of course not.
Your Fearsome Four is also more independent now, which means that she is able to go to the bathroom by herself and clean up afterward (just remind her to always wash her hands), play quietly by herself for longer stretches of time, be more open to trying new things, and also have the verbal capacity to actually tell you what she wants or what is bothering her. Bear in mind that although her vocabulary has improved and she is now able to better communicate verbally, she is still a young child and you shouldn’t expect her to be wiser than her years or behave more maturely just yet. Even though she is now able to better communicate verbally and her vocabulary has improved, she is still a young child.
Even if your four-year-old is a sulky, sullen attitude and all, you still love her for who she is and embrace all of her qualities. So call her whatever you want, but at the end of the day, even if she is a pouty little ball of emotions, you still love her for who she is and embrace all of her qualities.
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