The modern method of proposing in which the man gets down on one knee and proposes to his girlfriend is not recognized by Igbo tradition.
Source: umuigbounite.com
Igba Nkwu: Everything You Need to Know About Traditional Igbo Marriage: Marriage holds a significant place in Igbo (Ibo) culture, and the various traditional procedures that are associated with the union are not taken lightly by the families of the people getting married. These people hail from the south-east region of Nigeria, and their traditional weddings are known to be incredibly lively and colorful. Additionally, they are broken up into four main components.
1. Marriage inquiry known as “Iku aka” or a “Iju ese.”
2. Requesting permission from the prospective bride’s extended family, commonly known as “Umunna”.
3. The process of negotiating and paying for the bride’s price, also known as “ime ego,”
4. A ritual in which the bride carries wine and is referred to as “Igba Nkwu Nwanyi” and “Idu Uno”
Before the groom may take his new wife home with him, all of these tasks need to be finished, and the bride’s family and friends need to be satisfied.
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Marriage inquiry known as “Iku aka” or a “Iju ese.”
This tradition does not acknowledge the modern style of proposal in which the male proposes to his girlfriend while kneeling on one knee. The groom, escorted by his father or the eldest member of his family in the event that his father has passed away, is required to pay a visit to the immediate family of the bride as the first stage in the Igbo traditional wedding customs. The phrase “Iku aka” or “Iju ese” merely means “coming to knock or inquiry,” thus they are not expected to bring anything with them when they show up. However, the groom and his family are welcome to take some hot drinks and kola nut as a gesture of goodwill.
The groom’s father is the one who performs the talking; he initially introduces himself to the bride’s parents or guardian and explains the reason of his visit; then, he publicly announces his son’s interest in marrying their daughter. The future bride is then questioned by her parents about whether or not she is familiar with her suitor and whether or not she would like to marry him. Her response will then determine whether or not they will continue on to telling the extended family as well as negotiating the bride price.
2. Requesting permission from the prospective bride’s extended family, commonly known as “Umunna”.
After the initial meeting, the bride’s family starts doing research on the groom’s family, including looking into their history and checking their backgrounds (hereditary illnesses, bad behaviors, divorce, fertility etc. are all checked).
This inquiry also determines the development of the next meeting between both families, since the bride’s folks will then decide whether the groom-to-be is good enough to take care of their daughter and their future children based on the information obtained from this investigation. It is also presumed that the bridegroom’s family conducted a comparable investigation prior to the first visit.
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The next gathering will be between the relatives of the groom, which may include as many as twenty individuals, and the bride’s extended family, also known as the Umunna. This meeting is important for a number of reasons, including the fact that the groom’s family must reaffirm their interest in the marriage on behalf of their family, the groom’s family must first give their consent to the bride, and the bride must give her final consent. Additionally, dates for the traditional wedding will be set, and a price list for the bride will be distributed. According to local custom in Igboland, the groom is expected to bring a few presents at the wedding (such as kola nuts, palm wine, beer, soft drinks, tobacco, snuff and a goat). Both the family of the groom and the family of the bride will take part in this.
3. The process of negotiating and paying for the bride’s price, also known as “ime ego,”
After the second visit and consent has been given by the bride’s extended family, the groom’s family can now proceed with the bride price negotiation and payment traditionally known as “Ime ego, the groom’s family ask for the engagement gifts list, which varies slightly from place to place in Igboland. After the bride’s extended family has given their consent, the groom’s family can now proceed with the bride price negotiation and payment.
The amount of money paid as the bride price is extremely cheap and can be as little as N30; nevertheless, this does not indicate the worth of the bride in any way. The largest portion of the bride price is comprised of the supplementary gifts that are expected to be presented. The items that the groom’s family has purchased are subsequently given to the bride’s family at a predetermined time or on the day of the wine-carrying ceremony, whichever comes first.
The ime ego ceremony may be a stressful experience for both sets of families since it involves a lot of pleading on the part of the groom’s family and a lot of boasting on the part of the bride’s family. The family of the future bride begins to enumerate their daughter’s achievements and the benefits that the future groom will derive from marrying her. Both sets of relatives are going to engage in a significant quantity of back-and-forth communication until a predetermined sum is attained.
4. Carrying of wine by the bride during the wedding, also known as Igba Nkwu Nwanyi and Idu Uno
Source: facebook.com, @igboamaka
This is the final and most important rite that the groom’s family will perform. They also hire a live band and possibly traditional dancers to make the ceremony interesting. Once the date for the official wine carrying has been set, the ceremony is done at the home of the bride, and her family prepares a large feast (depending on their pockets) for the groom’s family coming and invited guests.
In most cases, the bride-to-be wears the traditional Igbo wedding clothing, which consists of a blouse, a double wrapper, a red coral bead necklace, and a large head tie known as a “Ichafu” or a bead wrapped around her head. In addition, she wears a red coral bead necklace. This time around, the bride and groom are anticipated to be joined by a larger party, which may include friends, and the price list for the bride is anticipated to be brought by the groom himself. Before the beginning of the ritual, he is obligated to hand over the list to the Umunna along with the necessary presents.
The most exciting part of the Igba Nkwu Nwanyi ceremony is when the future bride announces in front of everyone whom she intends to marry. After the traditional prayer for the bride, during which her father or, if her father is no longer alive, her eldest uncle prays for the bride and blesses her future marriage, he gives the bride a cup of palm wine (which is typically placed in a gourd) and tells her to find the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with.
As the bride searches for her groom while holding the wine in her hand, she is invited by other men and the groom’s friends sat in the crowd to give them her wine. The bride then travels with her maidens to find her spouse, who is hiding among the crowd. After she had located him, she approached him on her knees with the beverage she was holding and offered it to him.
Acceptance implies that they are legally man and wife; if he takes a sip, it tells the crowd that he is her husband; refusal means that they are still single. After that, the bridegroom and bride dance their way over to the bride’s family so that the bride’s parents can bless them. The celebration gets underway, and the happy couple’s loved ones start handing out their presents.
Idu Uno follows directly after Igba Nkwu at this point; the bride pays her first visit to the home of the groom, and she typically brings along a maiden or her sister who has not yet wed to keep her company. Before the bride leaves on her journey, her family gives her all of the essential things that she will need to start her new life together with her new husband. These gifts include cooking utensils, bed sheets, suitcases, boxes, a sewing machine, a bed, pillowcases, plates, clothes, and other essential things that she will need to start their new life together. After a few days have passed, the sister of the bride or other members of her family can travel back home to provide her people with input.
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