The popular comedian and presenter of the interview program, Teju Oyelakin, popularly known as Teju Babyface, has advised men who do not confess their wives or couples if they cheat, warning that such admissions only cause more damage than well.
In a YouTube video shared on Monday, Teju described confess infidelity as one of the “most catastrophic and harmful” things that a person can do in a marriage.
“If you cheat your wife or your husband, but especially your wife, especially men, if you cheat your wife, don’t tell him. Don’t confess. Never do it,” he said.
“It is one of the most catastrophic and harmful things that you can do in your life.”
The comedian said that many people misunderstand the idea of ​​confession, pointing out that while some cite the Bible to justify it, the confession of sin is destined for God and not for humans.
“People will even summon the Bible to support the idea of ​​confession. They will say that if we confess and regret, then our sins are forgiven,” he said.
“Excuse me, that is for God and of God, not man. It is confession to God, not man. Don’t do it.”
He added that people who confess after cheating are often cheated to think that they are being honest, when they are actually being manipulators.
“You are not being honest; you are being manipulat. What you are really doing is throw the weight of your guilt, not help your spouse. You are looking for someone else to carry the load of your misdeeds,” he explained.
Sharing a personal experience, Teju admitted that before marriage, he once cheated in a serious and confessed relationship, a decision that now laments. He said that confession was not driven by honesty, but by a subconscious desire to sabotage the relationship.
“I can clearly see that I confessed because I wanted to get out of the relationship,” he said.
“If I cheated and then confessed, and she left alone, could justify myself. That was not honesty, that was cowardice.”
He argued that confessions rarely heal relationships, but instead deepen wounds and permanently alter confidence.
“There is no benefit to your spouse when you confess. All benefits are yours. What you give are pain, anguish and misery,” he said.
According to him, some marriages never recover from the damage caused by such revelations.
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“I have a friend who cheated his wife 15 years ago, confessed in his first year of marriage, and to this day he still holds him on his head. He still suffers that confession,” he shared.
Teju emphasized that true repentance should imply a change in behavior, not confession, urging men to stop cheating instead of seeking emotional relief telling their wives.
“If you feel bad to cheat, stop cheating. If you still feel guilty, confess to God or a advisor, not your wife. Never put that weight. That is not honesty; that is cruelty,” he said.
He also distinguished between a man who makes a mistake and one who is a usual cheater.
“The fact that you have cheated once it does not make you a cheater,” he said.
“A cheater is someone who does it repeatedly. But if you run once, you learn from him and change your actions, do not destroy your home on behalf of confession.”
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